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100 Funny Quotes That Will Make You Laugh (Instantly)

发布时间:2026-09-19 | 浏览:1
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Quote of the Day Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain Inspirational , Life , Hilarious 2824 Copy quote Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alan Dundes Inspirational , Christmas , Sarcastic 2312 Copy quote If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama Inspirational , Change , Inspiring 1352 Copy quote Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain Change , Politics , Diapers 2372 Copy quote When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers Death , Hilarious , Humorous 2486 Copy quote Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alan Dundes Inspirational , Christmas , Sarcastic 2312 Copy quote Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama Inspirational , Change , Inspiring 1352 Copy quote Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain Change , Politics , Diapers 2372 Copy quote When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers Death , Hilarious , Humorous 2486 Copy quote Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama Inspirational , Change , Inspiring 1352 Copy quote If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain Change , Politics , Diapers 2372 Copy quote When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers Death , Hilarious , Humorous 2486 Copy quote Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. Mark Twain Change , Politics , Diapers 2372 Copy quote Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers Death , Hilarious , Humorous 2486 Copy quote Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers Death , Hilarious , Humorous 2486 Copy quote When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie Faith , Time , Motivation Dale Carnegie (2010). “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, p.372, Simon and Schuster 2565 Copy quote Show source Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey Inspirational , Life , Karma 2467 Copy quote Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom Birthday , Memories , Humorous "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 1624 Copy quote Show source As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde Life , Hilarious , Witty 321 Copy quote Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen Zig Ziglar Money , Oxygen , Famous Motivational 66 Copy quote money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. William Shakespeare Life , Sarcastic , Wisdom 226 Copy quote The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine 4th Of July , Medicine , Religion 591 Copy quote To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein Love , Life , God "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com. 2688 Copy quote Show source The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Billy Connolly Inspirational , Witty , Humor 934 Copy quote Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes! Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead Inspirational , Inspiring , Laughter 322 Copy quote Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln Inspirational , Life , Motivational Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume 682 Copy quote Show source The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Inspirational , Motivational , Positive 296 Copy quote Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin Inspirational , Life , Sarcastic "Carlin on Campus". Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 1872 Copy quote Show source Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz Love , Valentines Day , Witty 314 Copy quote All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
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Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment Betty White Jealousy , Humorous , Vacation 98 Copy quote Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin Inspiring , Success , Congratulations 217 Copy quote The road to success is always under construction. Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Robin Williams Latin , Humor , Political 192 Copy quote Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures. Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. John Wayne Life , Leadership , Badass 429 Copy quote Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Jay Leno Money , Epic , Winning 205 Copy quote Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin Inspirational , Witty , Trying 197 Copy quote If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Funny quotes by: Oscar Wilde Writer Groucho Marx Comedian George Carlin Comedian Mark Twain Author Woody Allen Film producer Steven Wright Comedian Eugene Ormandy Conductor Charles Dickens Writer Mitch Hedberg Comedian Yogi Berra Baseball Manager Ronald Reagan 40th U.S. President Will Rogers Actor Rodney Dangerfield Comedian Murray Walker Commentator Dave Barry Author Mae West Actress Confucius Philosopher Demetri Martin Comedian Rita Rudner Comedian Daniel Tosh Comedian Albert Einstein Theoretical Physicist Barack Obama 44th U.S. President Mark Twain Author Benjamin Franklin Founding Father of the United States Oscar Wilde Writer Mahatma Gandhi Civil rights leader Friedrich Nietzsche Philologist Marilyn Monroe Actress George Bernard Shaw Playwright William Shakespeare Poet Get Social with AzQuotes Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends Quote of the Day Javascript and RSS feeds WordPress plugin ES Version AZQuotes.ES Login with your account Find Your Account
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